stacydelarosa

Hustling for the Happy

I often wonder if my blog is having abandonment issues. All of my words and non-parenting energy are being poured into my course and other projects currently being created. I am at a place where I finally feel I have something of value to contribute and I am filled with joy and excitement about sharing them. I no longer wish to hide behind my fear and ego about what I can contribute creatively. 

I am finding that with each step I take towards actualizing my dreams, I am returning to that which I have always known but was afraid of for so long. I am discovering, or rediscovering, that which I love with a wide open heart and a heaping spoonful of humility.

I've recently become a student of online business and marketing. This is because I aim to create a sustainable business for myself and my family that allows me to share my creative gifts with as many people as I can reach. The one thing I notice is the tremendous use of the word hustle. You gotta hustle... hustle for clients, hustle for business, hustle for leads. 

All this talk of hustling is enough to make me want to slip off my dancing shoes, lie down and take a nap.  When I see the word hustle, I can't help but recall Andrea having a tagline on her blog that says she hustles for the happy and when I first read those words I nodded in knowing, ready to slip my dancing shoes back on and get on the dance floor. 

I recall being on a job interview years ago where the recruiter said to me: your days will fly by here. I remember a wash of fear all over my body at those chilling words. Is she serious? I don't want my days to fly by sitting in this gray building with no windows, isolated from the world. Was that supposed to be a selling point? I know a stable job and income is a blessing, but for artists it's not a way of life. Working for the weekend is not a mantra I subscribe to. It felt like a jail sentence to me, and yet I have sentenced myself to that jail many times by my own choosing.

But choosing that jail sentence also allows for our intutition to rise up and be heard. Of course I'm not here to simply get through life, that is not why any of us are here. And a life guided by fear is not what I want to model for my girls. I am here to live it to the full and thrive. I want to be in my days fully. To live them, touch them, taste them, and dance with them. 

That job interview feels like a lifetime ago, and the road from twenty years ago until now has been paved with a million choices that have brought me to the now where I also recall the feelings I had during two recent photoshoots I was hired for. When I am with a camera the same words come to me each time... if this is what work can look like, then let this be my work.

It all comes back to finding what makes you happy, what truly lights you up, that which you are compelled and pulled to do, and doing that. It still feels scary, but it's where I choose to dance.

This is where my iPhone camera and I have been hustling recently:

You can see more happy hustlings on my Instagram feed.

Guiding-word-of-the-Month : March

I sit here this evening, after a very long day, writing this post with a gluten-free beer and a twist of irony. February came and went with a blur and ended with both of my children catching whatever bug was going around for a solid week. 

When I emerged from our sick bay it was a few days from March and I realized half the posts I wanted to publish for February were still drafts in my folder. My plan to finish writing and post some of them this morning was canceled when my younger daughter spent the morning throwing up for no apparant reason and comforting her was all I could focus on. It looks like back into our sick bay is where I return.

It would seem surrender might be the natural choice for this month's word, but I'm still feeling my original choice for this month which is... abundance.




True, I spent the better part of this morning covered in an abundance of vomit, but the silver lining part of that story is that I have set my life in such a way that being available to both of my daughters, whenever they need me, is doable. 

This is a dream I carried for years, as well as a promise I made to them before they were born. And though this dream looks different than I originally imagined, I am recognizing that it is another dream of mine that is slowly being manifested. I am truly starting to believe that our long held dreams are our birthrights and the only thing that keeps us from making them our reality, is ourselves.

When we think of the word of abundance, we often think in terms of financial abundance. And yes, that is a very real and large part of it, but what I am also wanting to be guided by and aware of this month is all the other ways abundance shows up in my life.

Vomit aside, I am currently feeling and witnessing an abundance of support, community, hope and possibility for my bigger dream and larger vision. Part of this vision will be to soon have a garden on some land in which to plant and harvest an abundance of produce and connection to food. It also includes some exciting avenues and opportunities to expand Clover & Sage in alignment with my larger dream of contribution and creation. In fact, the phrase in clover literally means abundance, it's right there in my chosen business name. 

The freshness of spring finds us this month as well and will soon bring an abundance of new life, bursts of color and the return of light.

My firstborn, Isabella, turns five years old this month (five!) and I easily become overwhelmed with emotion when I begin to reflect on her life so far and the abundance of pure joy, life lessons, soul healing and total love expansion her presence brings.  

Life is so brilliant and rich no matter how much money you have in the bank. This month is about exploring how plentiful our lives truly are, exactly as they are, in this moment.  

 

Related articles

February's Word

My Guiding Word for 2013

A sweet Valentine giveaway

photo by Brandi Reynolds.


I don't think I had much of an idea or expectation what introducing my word-of-the-month club* would inspire, but after I posted about it, I received a few emails from some lovely bloggers asking if they could somehow participate. 

When Brandi sent me this photograph, I fell sweetly in love. I knew it was in alignment with our word this month - Return. 

As I journal around what this word in particular means for me the theme that keeps rising to the surface is remember. It's the same theme that is at the core of Getting Naked: Rooted in Gratitude - remembering who we still are at our core, before we got dressed up in all our textured layers of life.

I asked Brandi what this photograph meant to her and she shared this with me:

My inspiration for a piece of art is always a little circular. This piece came about as I was watching John Cusack on 'Inside the Actor's Studio' (a mild addiction) talk about his interaction with a 12 year old costar. He said, 'When you are 12, you are the buddha. You know everything.'

That statement captured my imagination and as I thought back to who I was at 12, I realized that he was right. At age 12, old enough to cognize and interact with the world but not yet gripped with hell of puberty, I knew who I was. I celebrated my imagination. Doubt had not crept into my dreams. I had not yet developed the really bad habit of feeling the need to change who I was to fit in (a habit I acted out for many years). 

This piece was created to remind myself to get back in touch with that inner 12 year old, the part within in me that has not left and still knows and celebrates who she is. I hope anyone looking at this piece is reminded of the same thing: don't forget what makes you YOU and more importantly, OWN it. Celebrate it.

And don't forget that you being you MATTERS.

You can read more about the piece here: http://brandireynolds.com/2012/12/21/dont-forget-who-you-are/.

If you want to win a copy of this print, leave a comment here before the end of Valentine's Day sharing something that you celebrate and love about yourself. I will announce the recipient on Friday the 15th. 

**Congratulations, Trisha!**

* You can join my word-of-the-month club for free by signing up for my mailing list. I send out the word on the first of each month. When you sign up you also receive my guides to starting and practicing gratitude every day. 

 

My Guiding Word for 2013

I spent this morning near the sea photographing a goddess who is rising her Queen. We sat on a blanket before I picked up my camera and did a wee tarot card reading. We spoke of gratitude, releasing, and taking ownership of our own shit. 

What I am really wanting to bring into my life this year is to be grounded. To root into what's real. I have heard myself say the same line out loud one too many times over the past few years which is : Everything feels so up in the air right now.

I’ve been in a state of limbo for longer than I care to admit.

This statement pertains to many things, though most of it has to do with a physical moving of our home. A place which is literally up in the air like a tiny birdhouse perched above the city. A place which has sheltered us and holds our history. A place filled with memories, natural light and a million dollar view. A place with no insulation and zero water pressure. A place that has served us well and we are ready to release.

Inspirational metaphors often speak of soaring, flight, and leaping. In many ways I feel like the salmon swimming upstream by saying I want to climb down our perch and connect with the Earth for a bit to find my footing.

Flying is fabulous and important, but I read something the other day that said, By all means go out on a limb, just make sure it's attached to a trunk. I’m working with two concepts currently which is to root and to rise.

To truly rise is to know where you first root. From trunk to limb. To be able to bend in the wind and allow your branches to dance wildly in the breeze is to trust that your trunk won’t uproot easily, it’s grounded into Earth, solid and supported in that space.

My goal is to be completely rooted in what I stand for and what I believe in that I won't be uprooted when my why is challenged by external sources. 

I am rooting deeply into gratitude for the whole of my life: the experiences that have led me to this point, for all that is, and for all that I am actively building.

My guding word for 2013 is Land.




The literal being about physically getting onto some land in the form of our own home. One with a foundation and surrounded by earth and soil to plant a vegetable and herb garden and run around barefoot.

Land to set up a tent for our girls to sleep under the stars.
Land for them to run, pick flowers, and collect dirt under their fingernails.
Land to build a fire pit to replace our television.
Land to invite friends and guests onto and into.
Land to share with some animals.
Land for us to stretch into, create, and grow as a family.
Land to sustain us, feed us, and ground us.
Land to rest, and retreat.

We’ve been up in the air long enough, it's time to come back down to the ground.

As I write this, the sweet home we own in Austin is being listed for sale. Releasing this home will be the key to us getting onto some land this year. It feels scary and bittersweet but we are ready to create the changes that need to be made and step into something new.

I am so connected and committed to my one big little word for 2013. It feels less lofty and more literal than some of my past words.

If you would, please share your word for 2013 along with how it came to you. 

Related articles

Releasing and the birth of a new year

Sunday shoptalk

My Guiding Word for 2013

Sunday shoptalk

Word of the Year pendant available in my Etsy shop. Use code SOULODGE10 for 10%off)

I realize this post is going to come off as self-promoting, but what I am also realizing as I continue to build and grow my business is to not fear letting people know what you are up to. Because I want to know what you are up to, I am sharing what I am up to as well.

I am always grateful when something comes my way that resonates and I am even more grateful that their message found me. If the person behind the message was too afraid to tell people, I would never have found them. Which is to say that I am firmly now in the mindset that when we don't share what we are up to with others, we are doing us all a huge disservice.

So.

With that.

I wanted to let you know two things.

The first thing: 

My friend and mentor Pixe Cambell is kindly hosting a giveaway over at her online home. This giveaway is for one seat in my course Getting Naked with the Now: Rooted in Gratitude AND your very own of what Pixie describes as my famous Word-of-the-Year pendants. 

With this giveaway it would seem that I want to undress you and adorn you at the same time. There is something about that I love so very much. And, um, just so you know... Yes. I do.

Please allow me the gift of undressing and adorning you by heading over to Pixie's blog and leaving a comment for your chance to win. I would also love it if you shared with others. The giveaway ends tonight! 

The second thing:

I am giddy that my space in this vast online world is getting a makeover, one more aligned with my aesthetic. Because of this, my Bella Wish Guide to Hand Stamping will soon be heading to the vault of no return... meaning you have until February 4th to download yours.... and at a complete steal for only $8.00! 

This guide is near and dear to me as it was my very first e-book and due to this I believe the videos alone are worth $8.00 simply for the comedy factor. But I will set my own insecurities about seeing myself on video aside and let others tell you their thoughts as well....

A heartfelt thank you...recently, I purchased your hand stamping guide. It has been a heart whispering to try, but I always seemed to find/create/invent/you name it all sorts of self-imposed limitations to set in my way. Today I watched your lovely video and when it finished, I felt so inspired with ideas calling out to me. Thank you for sharing, thank you for putting this out there, thank you for sharing your gift, your art with the world.  ~ Suzanne Sperl

This has been put together so beautifully, and for a STEAL. I've been wearing Stacy's jewelry for years now, and each piece has had a transformative effect on me. Last year I wore "trust" all year, knowing my ways, I had her also stamp "always" on the back-for the times when I would try to talk myself out of it (often). This is a powerful tool for creating your own medicine and wearing your talismans with supreme consciousness. THANK YOU, Stacy. This is such a gift! ♥ ~ Pixie Campbell

Hi Stacy. It feels as if I spent the day with you. The tutorial is truly fantastic. I love it, especially your casual, easy-going, imperfect style. I am making my big order tomorrow. Can hardly wait to add this art to my life. Thanks a million. ~ Jan Veith

Your Bella Wish hand-stamping guide is amazing! Thank you for sharing your knowledge! After my first day of stamping, I just had to let you know ♥ ~ Brandi Marie Little




Download your copy here today, I want you to have this or gift it to someone before I retire it, I truly do love this guide so much and believe it holds much value. After February 4th, it will no longer be an option.  

Initiation

This will most likely be my final post about releasing 2012 as it's time to get on with the new year already, yes? 

I have consciously taken the whole of this month as a releasing ceremony of sorts. I felt no pressure to have anything completed by December 31st. Children and age redefine the importance of time for us and are slow medicine for our often intolerable impatient ways of being.

I was planning on putting together a review of 2012 in photos, (well, the year of the Instagram photos anyway) but I was quickly reminded how that would involve so much more than running through my photos and gathering my favorites.

The thing with data loss (my laptop was stolen in December) is that when you go to retrieve something and realize you no longer have it, the mourning resurfaces. Which isn't to say I lost everything, I still have the majority of my photos, but what I did lose was the programs which housed and organized them all - in my case Aperture and iPhoto - which makes searching for a photo an hours long affair making it suddenly unimportant. **

And while all of that will be sorted at some point without worry, working temporarily on a borrowed laptop without my own account has brought me back to the bare essentials. I no longer have certain resources to pull from which feels a bit raw and shaky at times.

I was lamenting this to a dear medicine woman over the holidays sharing with her that much of my written content for my upcoming course was also now gone and putting me in a position to rebuild. I am paraphrasing her sage advice but her message was simply that whatever was on my laptop wasn't what I was teaching and it was in the sharing of my own path is where my true offering lies. 

As I write this at 6:00 am, my words feel scattered and explorative without a destination so what I am writing may not make much sense, but I think truly what this is about for me is coming into this new year releasing a large part of the old ways of my being - a stripping down of comfortable layers and getting naked, pulling out the dreams that were once written down on tiny scraps of paper and shoved way down inside my pockets where they were carried but never seen and placing them on the table and into the light, free from the tight grip of my clenched fist.

On the surface it might not be apparant, but 2012 was a gamechanger for me. It many ways it felt like an initiation into whatever is to come. A detoxing where I was asked to get vulnerable and leave behind a lot of what was weighing me down. It feels very clear that what 2013 is asking of me is to release the last bits of what isn't being invited into this next incarnation.

I see no coincidence that my course offering is called Getting Naked, it simply makes sense for where I am right now.

I am having a little closing ceremony around 2012, one where I release it with love + gratitude and step into 2013 with a new voice. 

*****
Two nights ago I dreamt I was driving on the freeway, preparing to exit at my usual and familar offramp when I saw a large grey wolf lying down across the entire exit - blanketed in her paws was her cub. I slowed way down as they both made deep eye contact with me and then I passed the exit to find another way home. 

The message in this dream feels really clear and obvious to me and the strong visual is something I am carrying. A sister in one of my circles asked me after sharing this dream, "Now, what are you going to do about that exit?" 

This is my guiding question of 2013. 




** having said that, you can see a good part of my year in photos by following me over on Instagram  

honoring truth

Where we are heading

The whispers that come 
You know the ones
The ones that when ignored will finally shout, beg or scream
In an effort to get your attention
So listen

They aren't going anywhere because they hold messages of your highest callings, your purpose, your dreams.

And if you still don't pay attention to what calls to you drastic measures may be taken in the form of a virtual punch to the gut as recently happened to me one early Friday morning.

As much as I am an advocate of grow where you are planted, I had to confront my simple but current truth - that living in Los Angeles was simply no longer an option if I want to fulfill my purpose and live my dreams.

I have known this for years, since I was a teenager even. The first time I moved out of Los Angeles I was twenty years old and was called to the sea. The second, third, fourth and fifth time I moved away from LA found me heading north, more north and north again until I finally reached Alaska.

I found myself back in LA because of a different path at the time I was following that involved a dream of working in movies, which I fulfilled. LA is where I was born and I feel strong ties here, but whenever I leave is when I begin to recognize myself. The times where I have cut the umbilical cord to LA are times where I have never felt more connected to my self as a daughter of the Earth, naked from the masks of protection that one needs in a city like Los Angeles to simply survive.

My husband and I have stayed here all this time for his "safe" and "secure" job. The one that puts food on the table for now, the one that allows us to have medical care for now. The one we are truly and deeply grateful for as it allows me to be present and available to our girls each day. 

But...

What I want for our family is to live in nature, in the trees and near the water.
What I want is an affordable house with enough rooms to breathe and invite others in for food, shelter and company, close to urban conveniences, restaurants and organic markets, enough land for a vegetable and herb garden to feed us and others, a rustic table for outdoor dining, a firepit, a dog, and room to run.
What I want are shutters on our windows and grape vines over an arbor and walkways to woods and water. What I want are fruit-bearing trees with a hammock hung between and an open view to the east with which to greet the sun each morning, land to dig our bare toes into.
What I want is a walk-in pantry with shelves stocked with homemade gifts from each season and an outdoor clothesline where nature integrates with the care and keeping our home.
What I want is a structure on our property where I can cultivate my holistic work and expand my gifts and offerings in ways that feel organic, easy and natural.
What I want for our girls is a an outdoor classroom and the changing patterns of the sky as their entertainment. 
What I want is for my husband to not have to leave his girls for ten hours each day and for them to have their Daddy home as much as possible.
What I want is to break the societal pattern of the man heading off to a job five days a week while his family stays home.
What I want is for Jimmy and I to both earn enough income from our home, following our passions, using our creative gifts, and to serve with love.
What I want is simple abundance, ease in flow, kindred community, connection to cycles and seasons, togetherness. 

Simply put - I want to thrive, not just survive. I want to cultivate a wild garden of good.

I suppose one could argue that all of these things could be found in a city like Los Angeles and I suppose there is a small part of me that even believed it since we had a "plan" in place to finding a new home here which was well in the works. But what I truly crave is a life of ease and simplicity, and I find not much is easy and simple about life in LA. 

So what sent my soul into screaming fits that Friday morning a few weeks ago? It came in the form of a simple Craig's list posting from a sister friend of mine who was looking to rent their Washington state home. When I saw what they were paying for a gorgeous three bedroom home a stone's throw from the beach surrounded by nature and wildlife I about fell over, hence the virtual punch in the gut.

I understood in that moment not only what was possible, but that staying here meant sacrificing the quality of life we are craving for an income based standard of living. Suddenly, "the plan" was no longer something that felt right or even good. To be sure, affordable housing existing outside of city life wasn't news to me, but I believe this dropped acorn fell on my path to see if I was paying attention yet. 

So here I was on a Friday morning with this new truth that was tying knots all up in my stomach because I knew I could no longer compromise this soul calling. To be clear, it wasn't their life in Washington I was coveting. it was more an affirmation that staying in LA meant having to succumb to a standard of living of earning a certain income over quality of life in all it's graffitied glory. The question begged: What was truly keeping us here?

I knew that morning that the conversation with my husband wasn't going to be around questions like Wouldn't it be nice if one day... ? Or Can we really do this? Can we really leave Los Angeles? but questions of It's time to go. Are you able to say yes with me? What do you really really really want for our family? and How can I support you if it's not in alignment of what I really really really want for our family?

I was beyond scared to face this truth much less speak it out loud. Why? Because telling our truth can often mean hurting someone else. It may even mean losing something, or someone, so very important to us. We may resist our truth for fear of being judged or ridiculed. Often we come up with excuses why saying something won't matter anyway, arrogantly thinking we know how someone will react though we truly have no idea - still we write out wild scripts of imagined reactions to our truth spillings. Or is that just me?

We create these elaborate stories about reality standing in the way of our truth when in fact we are always in choice about our reality and therefore we are the ones standing in the way of our personal truth.

The undressing part in Getting Naked is exactly that - identifying and releasing that which no longer serves in eight of our life landscapes as a way to ground us into the beauty of all that is. Through this work it's now clear that life in Los Angeles, though a once beloved teacher of mine, no longer serves. It's as simple as that. 

Though recognizing truth once it appears may seem simple, asking for what we need to live that truth can be hard. In hindsight perhaps a shot of something would have helped my nerves.  My voice cracked, my hands shook, the words could barely get up and over the lump in my throat and it felt like my insides were convulsing as the words poured out of my heart. And some of those words hurt, I saw it on his face and he took them all and loved them anyway. And I kept going. Because I had to. And some of his words back hurt, and I took them all and loved them because I knew they too needed to be acknowledged. 

And through this outpouring came the softening. The one that allowed the knots in my belly to slowly untangle and finally release. The story I had made up in my mind of his reaction was fiction, it didn't exist. My truth, and his, had been set free. And there we were once again united and back on the same page, ready to leap together and create a new reality, hand in hand.

And though this mama could desperately use a pedicure, a massage and day of pampering, this freeing of my personal truth feels like the ultimate form of self care. 

When we take full responsibility for ourselves and our self care, we allow others to do the same. Speaking our truth is rarely easy, but it's always worth it. 

Our plan has changed. We are leaving LA. Right now any answers to how, where and when have yet to unfold but a family trip up the coast over the Thanksgiving holiday will hopefully reveal more. We remain open to outcome. It feels scary as hell but even more exciting. I trust in our abilities to build out our vision wherever that may be, I trust that we are supported and held on this journey through all the hills and valleys we may travel on this magical mystery tour and I trust that those who have been serendipitously sent to us as guides and teachers were done so not by coincidence.

Our dream of freedom feels pretty common, and our deepest hope is that by continuing to speak our truth, the messy and the beautiful, as it surfaces and forging a new path to our dream we will open up space for others to do the same. 

when women were birds

“Once upon a time, when women were birds,
there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy.
The birds still remember what we have forgotten,
that the world is meant to be celebrated.”

― from the book When Women Were Birds written by Terry Tempest Williams

I've just completed my maiden voyage of Getting Naked: A photographic journey into Now. It was eight weeks of releasing perfection around my offering and just putting myself out there in a way I never have. It was eight weeks of witnessing women open their minds and hearts and celebrate their worlds in the most inspiring ways. It was eight weeks of sharing my heart stories and deeply listening to the heart stories of others.**

I hold such gratitude for this time we had together. It moved me in ways I wasn't expecting, so much in fact that rather than coming here and shouting all about it I took a couple weeks to indulge my introvert, getting really quiet and process it for a bit and sitting with all the emotions that surfaced around this.

I bow deeply to the women who trusted me enough to enter into this exploration of life landscaping together. The connections that were made, the breakthroughs that came, the love and patience given around my technical challenges, the naked bits - for myself as much as this circle.

I don't consider myself a teacher as I was learning so much more than I ever imagined in this course. I was the one being taught. I am forever a student of life. I lived the work which birthed the course, the work that has been gestating for years, and realized it's work that is never complete it simply shifts and spirals, revealing more each time.

To me getting naked is about revealing more of the rich layers of who we are at our core, stripping us naked of the masks most of us wear as protection in our everday lives and stepping into deep gratitude for all that is simply now as a means to create conscious daily choices for tomorrow.

Getting naked asks the questions: Who are we truly without all of our stuff? Who are we truly when we aren't identifying with designer labels, status symbols, putting on images of a picture perfect storefront life, the scripts we have written for those in our lives, and our long-held stories written by others? Who are we truly when we release the need to control and that which keeps us stuck? Who are we truly when we give ourselves permission to use our voices and speak our truths? Who are we truly when we put ourselves first and commit to the care and keeping of our whole selves as the way to commit to the care and keeping of others?

These are questions I am continuously exploring through this work and what I am discovering is the more layers I am able to shed, the more I am discovering my true voice... and more importantly using it. 

I am also in gratitude to myself, for recognizing and allowing the always safe, well-meaning, and genuinely concerned voice of reason to surface as I was putting this course together. I was well aware of the inner voice we all too often hear, the one whose role it is to explain all the reasons why I shouldn't do it, why no one would care and how it doesn''t matter anyway.

My normal pattern would be to take this voice as gospel and allow it to quiet me, but this time was different. This time I was able to hear the voice of reason and its concerns, sincerely thank it for caring about my possibly looking like a fool, and it's need to protect... and then sending it on its way so I may, in fact, look like a fool.

Why? Because I believe our willingness to look like the fool is one of the most vital parts of the creative process, the fool is where our brilliance and light live and without risking showing this side of ourselves we simply fit in to a role that society created for us.

This was a breakthrough for me because let's face it, it's scary to look like the fool.  But I no longer fear it because I know that what I create does matter. I know that what each of us creates does matter. And when women sing we heal the world through our joy. So I encourage all of us to remember what birds have never forgotten and to sing the song that is in your soul. You will be heard.

*****
I have been blogging since 2006 my very first post inspired by my being laid off from a job I hated, yet through the years I have shied away from huge marketing efforts around my own heart centered business. I was of the mindset in my own business of not wanting to sing too loudly for fear of appearing somewhat schmarmy in my marketing.

But what my own course has taught me is that I bring something truly valuable to the world and that I want to reach out in bigger ways to my people; my mindset has shifted so much that reaching as many people as I can is something I am now wildly passionate about. What this course taught me is that I am not here to play small, none of us are.

My quiet time was vital but I am now ready to sing. Expect to hear a lot more from me over the coming weeks as I write my ass off. I have so much to say its hard not to put it all in one blog post, but I know now that each of us truly holds a well of wisdom that waters the gardens within each of us - this is why community and tribe building are so important. I know now that when we hide our songs, we all suffer.

As women we are meant to spread our wings, sing and soar high. The way we do that is through supporting each other and revealing the portals and possibilities that are already present.

Let us return to being birds. 

I want to get naked with you and help you undress your truth, your voice, your dreams.

********

Some have asked if I will be holding another community based session of Getting Naked. The answer is Yes!... though not until January 2013 - registration details to be announced soon.

However, this October I will be offering a self-paced digital download and workbook of the entire course for those wanting to fly solo with some yummy bonus extras added that I can't wait to share.

**To read what others have expressed about getting naked I gathered some of the unsolicited comments here.

In dentistry as in life*

Oftentimes things we ingest that are long forgotten
Or avoided
Become hidden in the places we can’t touch or see
On the surface everything appears to be fine... sparkling, minty, and strong even
But deep in the roots a different story is being told
The clearing that needs to happen is so deep that help is called in for extraction
Special tools and skills are needed
The process hurts
Sometimes excruciatingly so
But left ignored the pain caused by damage and neglect would be worse
So the work begins
Drilling down to the bone
Scraping away the past
Afterward you rinse and rise
And wait
The pain that arrives after the numbness recedes
Throbbing, achy, often in waves
Sitting with the discomfort
Not self medicating the pain away
Allowing yourself to rest and be still
Is what allows the healing to begin
Soon the inflammation soothes
The pain calms
The detox complete
And that which has finally been released
That which was stored for so long
Has been cleared

catalyst (and an opportunity to Get Naked)

image of Eight of Swords tarot card from the Druid Craft deck

From the MotherPeace Tarot Guide:

Trapped blocked in by a brick wall with Swords aimed to hit her. But since Swords are thoughts, she is not as trapped in the situation as she believes she is. It is her own fear holding her back from whatever it is she wants to go after, nobody else is stopping her. The Swords that look like they will hang her from the wall represent the sense of drama she is feeling about her circumstances. She is allowing herself to feel trapped in order to avoid the world of possibilities that may await her if she goes outside of the wall that is only a figment of her vivid imagination. Freedom is hers for the taking, but she needs perspective to be more balanced. She may be having panic attacks or real problems, but is overreacting to them.

Swords have much to do with power, and are usually at work all around us in the world, through institutions like school, church, the media, and peer groups. The appearance of Swords is a warning to use discernment, to be careful how mental energies are being used. Try to step back from problems and sort out illusions, habits and negative mental patterns which could be making things worse. Mental clarity aids in tackling problems, helping to shift strategies, to recognize limitations, and help focus on a single issue when necessary.

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This card was my catalyst for change during a Beltane celebration in April of 2011 by the truth-telling, velvet-voiced songstress and love goddess Terri Fischer who first gave me exquisite insight into what this card is all about. She used the Druid Craft deck that you see above but the Motherpeace book for guidance.

When I first pulled the card as part of my reading with Terri (have I mentioned she's hot, too?), I wasn't that familar with tarot cards. I had only had one other true reading up until that point and I immediately thought upon seeing this card, Oh, &%$! this can't be good. 

No, no, no, it's sooo so sooo good, Terri reassured me, it's so good when these cards come to us because we can really work with their messages. Yep, Terri is amazing like that. 

She held my hand through all the nuances in this particular image.

The illusion of the woman being trapped as her foot points towards an opening in the swords that she could easily walk through. Her desire for freedom which is all around her but still she chooses to stay bound, eyes shielded, her light unable to shine - freedom is hers to have if she would only let go of the rope and remove the blindfold. The power of our thoughts and how we choose what we see.

I believe this is what Oprah calls getting out of your own way. 

Yes, this card was mine for a while. It hasn't always been mine, but after giving birth to my babies I wanted and needed my external environment to evolve and grow in the same ways that my internal environment was. I didn't want to raise our girls in Los Angeles and certainly not in our tiny apartment. After too many years of being in one place, this gypsy heart was feeling caged and craving space (read: I was losing my freaking mind).

I became obsessed with moving in fact. Something that I know seems like an easy enough fix for many, but with an additional mortgage on a home in Austin and the high cost of living in Los Angeles, I was often reminded of The Facts. Facts that made me bitter and angry and sad... and a pain in the ass to those who mean the most to me. I had written a story in my mind how moving to a different home in a new location would somehow make everything okay. I was waiting for this home so I could begin to do the things I really wanted like plant a garden and cook more - all things I felt I couldn't do in our tiny apartment so I didn't even try. 

It all seems so silly now looking back at that moment. I wasn't in the mindset at that point to turn the mirror around and face my own truth, I wasn't in the mindset to see that this too shall pass, that I wasn't alone in my desires and together my partner and I could work in partnership to create and manifest the bigger vision for our family and become stronger in the process. I wasn't in the mindset to see that we (as in each of us) truly can have what we desire once we make the decision and commit to it. I wasnt' in the mindset then to bloom where I was planted and embrace what I did have. 

I just wanted to make lame excuses for all the reasons why I couldn't do or have something. All I could see at times was what was missing and desired in my life, instead of seeing what was currently present and truly beauty-filled. Sometimes, it's easier to stand still with blinders on, fear is the great paralyzer. Looking back it seemed I was wearing my pity party dress on some days like it was a uniform. 

After that reading with Terri I had two more readings and both times drew the eight of swords. It almost became laughable. Alright! I get it! And then one beautiful July morning I decided that I wanted to be in awe exactly where I stood. Even in my darkest days I still have my eternal optimist flame that burns brightly within me. So I challenged myself to see something other than the story I was making up, to lay down my swords, take off my blindfold, step into deep gratitude, and take a closer look around at all that was living and vibrant and beautiful right Now. This is where it all changed for me and I am in awe of how differently I view and live my life one year later. 

Swords represent our thoughts and while I held this as my card my thoughts were words such as Can't. Won't. Shame. Impossible. Small. Fear. Mistrust. Pain. 

Once I began to practice truly living in the moment and invest my whole self into what is happening right in front of me I was able to rest these thoughts, remove my blindfold, and my life started to become... easier. Those previous thoughts attached to my swords started to lose their power and are now being reframed into new ones:

Can. Yes. Possible. Expansive. Courage. Trust. Freedom. Love.

I made the decision to work deeper with this card in July of 2011. I began to use my camera as a means to shift my perspective, it's what works best for me - the greatest tool in my belt. In the past year I have spent many hours journaling while my family slept. I searched and found a helpful therapist and have built relationships, partnered and learned from luminous mentors who arrived serendipitously as if sent by angels. I explored my personal relationships to my current city, home, time, purpose, self, body, spirituality, and my precious peeps through words, images, and practice - an ongoing, heart-opening and eye-widening adventure.

Little did I know at the time was that something more was being created - a way for me to share that which I now practice. The seed which was planted during these exploratory days with camera in hand, late nights writing and seeking counsel in the form of mentors and nature has now bloomed into my first online course Getting Naked: A photographic journey into Now. 

Everything in this course is based on how I layed down my swords, let go of the binding ropes, and removed my blindfold. It's where I release control and take responsibilty for what I am creating and contributing to the world. It's where I let go of the eight of swords card and no longer claim it as mine, while remaining grateful for it's message. It's how I now live.

It's where I am continously learning, planting, nurturing, honoring, growing, releasing, shedding, recharging, surrendering, creating and evolving. 

It's where I strip away the layers and get naked. 

One of the biggest lessons I learned from this experience is that we don't have to go it alone, nor were we meant to. We are not as isolated as we may sometimes believe nor are we are having to warrior through life with each step. When we partner with others and build support systems we can create what we desire. 

You can find out more about Getting Naked here.

Registration for this course is open until this Saturday June 23rd. I have decided to giveaway one spot for someone who may see herself in the eight of swords card and may benefit from it's content. 

Do you find yourself relating to this card as I once did?  Do you have a camera?  And an open heart? A willingness to commit to the journey? If so, I invite you to Get Naked with myself and a gorgeous group of women on an eight week intensive journey into falling in love with your life. I request that if you know of someone that may benefit from this course to please share it with others and/or leave a comment for someone you love. 

To be eligible, please leave a comment here letting me know one area of your life where you may be feeling like the woman in the image. I will leave comments open until Friday evening at 11:00 pm PST and will announce the giveaway winner on Saturday morning. Your spot will be open and ready for you on Sunday when we begin. 

I don't know all that much about tarot, other than I am fascinated by it and am learning a little more, but during my last reading I pulled The Sun card - a beautiful and welcome change.