image of Eight of Swords tarot card from the Druid Craft deck
From the MotherPeace Tarot Guide:
Trapped blocked in by a brick wall with Swords aimed to hit her. But since Swords are thoughts, she is not as trapped in the situation as she believes she is. It is her own fear holding her back from whatever it is she wants to go after, nobody else is stopping her. The Swords that look like they will hang her from the wall represent the sense of drama she is feeling about her circumstances. She is allowing herself to feel trapped in order to avoid the world of possibilities that may await her if she goes outside of the wall that is only a figment of her vivid imagination. Freedom is hers for the taking, but she needs perspective to be more balanced. She may be having panic attacks or real problems, but is overreacting to them.
Swords have much to do with power, and are usually at work all around us in the world, through institutions like school, church, the media, and peer groups. The appearance of Swords is a warning to use discernment, to be careful how mental energies are being used. Try to step back from problems and sort out illusions, habits and negative mental patterns which could be making things worse. Mental clarity aids in tackling problems, helping to shift strategies, to recognize limitations, and help focus on a single issue when necessary.
****
This card was my catalyst for change during a Beltane celebration in April of 2011 by the truth-telling, velvet-voiced songstress and love goddess Terri Fischer who first gave me exquisite insight into what this card is all about. She used the Druid Craft deck that you see above but the Motherpeace book for guidance.
When I first pulled the card as part of my reading with Terri (have I mentioned she's hot, too?), I wasn't that familar with tarot cards. I had only had one other true reading up until that point and I immediately thought upon seeing this card, Oh, &%$! this can't be good.
No, no, no, it's sooo so sooo good, Terri reassured me, it's so good when these cards come to us because we can really work with their messages. Yep, Terri is amazing like that.
She held my hand through all the nuances in this particular image.
The illusion of the woman being trapped as her foot points towards an opening in the swords that she could easily walk through. Her desire for freedom which is all around her but still she chooses to stay bound, eyes shielded, her light unable to shine - freedom is hers to have if she would only let go of the rope and remove the blindfold. The power of our thoughts and how we choose what we see.
I believe this is what Oprah calls getting out of your own way.
Yes, this card was mine for a while. It hasn't always been mine, but after giving birth to my babies I wanted and needed my external environment to evolve and grow in the same ways that my internal environment was. I didn't want to raise our girls in Los Angeles and certainly not in our tiny apartment. After too many years of being in one place, this gypsy heart was feeling caged and craving space (read: I was losing my freaking mind).
I became obsessed with moving in fact. Something that I know seems like an easy enough fix for many, but with an additional mortgage on a home in Austin and the high cost of living in Los Angeles, I was often reminded of The Facts. Facts that made me bitter and angry and sad... and a pain in the ass to those who mean the most to me. I had written a story in my mind how moving to a different home in a new location would somehow make everything okay. I was waiting for this home so I could begin to do the things I really wanted like plant a garden and cook more - all things I felt I couldn't do in our tiny apartment so I didn't even try.
It all seems so silly now looking back at that moment. I wasn't in the mindset at that point to turn the mirror around and face my own truth, I wasn't in the mindset to see that this too shall pass, that I wasn't alone in my desires and together my partner and I could work in partnership to create and manifest the bigger vision for our family and become stronger in the process. I wasn't in the mindset to see that we (as in each of us) truly can have what we desire once we make the decision and commit to it. I wasnt' in the mindset then to bloom where I was planted and embrace what I did have.
I just wanted to make lame excuses for all the reasons why I couldn't do or have something. All I could see at times was what was missing and desired in my life, instead of seeing what was currently present and truly beauty-filled. Sometimes, it's easier to stand still with blinders on, fear is the great paralyzer. Looking back it seemed I was wearing my pity party dress on some days like it was a uniform.
After that reading with Terri I had two more readings and both times drew the eight of swords. It almost became laughable. Alright! I get it! And then one beautiful July morning I decided that I wanted to be in awe exactly where I stood. Even in my darkest days I still have my eternal optimist flame that burns brightly within me. So I challenged myself to see something other than the story I was making up, to lay down my swords, take off my blindfold, step into deep gratitude, and take a closer look around at all that was living and vibrant and beautiful right Now. This is where it all changed for me and I am in awe of how differently I view and live my life one year later.
Swords represent our thoughts and while I held this as my card my thoughts were words such as Can't. Won't. Shame. Impossible. Small. Fear. Mistrust. Pain.
Once I began to practice truly living in the moment and invest my whole self into what is happening right in front of me I was able to rest these thoughts, remove my blindfold, and my life started to become... easier. Those previous thoughts attached to my swords started to lose their power and are now being reframed into new ones:
Can. Yes. Possible. Expansive. Courage. Trust. Freedom. Love.
I made the decision to work deeper with this card in July of 2011. I began to use my camera as a means to shift my perspective, it's what works best for me - the greatest tool in my belt. In the past year I have spent many hours journaling while my family slept. I searched and found a helpful therapist and have built relationships, partnered and learned from luminous mentors who arrived serendipitously as if sent by angels. I explored my personal relationships to my current city, home, time, purpose, self, body, spirituality, and my precious peeps through words, images, and practice - an ongoing, heart-opening and eye-widening adventure.
Little did I know at the time was that something more was being created - a way for me to share that which I now practice. The seed which was planted during these exploratory days with camera in hand, late nights writing and seeking counsel in the form of mentors and nature has now bloomed into my first online course Getting Naked: A photographic journey into Now.
Everything in this course is based on how I layed down my swords, let go of the binding ropes, and removed my blindfold. It's where I release control and take responsibilty for what I am creating and contributing to the world. It's where I let go of the eight of swords card and no longer claim it as mine, while remaining grateful for it's message. It's how I now live.
It's where I am continously learning, planting, nurturing, honoring, growing, releasing, shedding, recharging, surrendering, creating and evolving.
It's where I strip away the layers and get naked.
One of the biggest lessons I learned from this experience is that we don't have to go it alone, nor were we meant to. We are not as isolated as we may sometimes believe nor are we are having to warrior through life with each step. When we partner with others and build support systems we can create what we desire.
You can find out more about Getting Naked here.
Registration for this course is open until this Saturday June 23rd. I have decided to giveaway one spot for someone who may see herself in the eight of swords card and may benefit from it's content.
Do you find yourself relating to this card as I once did? Do you have a camera? And an open heart? A willingness to commit to the journey? If so, I invite you to Get Naked with myself and a gorgeous group of women on an eight week intensive journey into falling in love with your life. I request that if you know of someone that may benefit from this course to please share it with others and/or leave a comment for someone you love.
To be eligible, please leave a comment here letting me know one area of your life where you may be feeling like the woman in the image. I will leave comments open until Friday evening at 11:00 pm PST and will announce the giveaway winner on Saturday morning. Your spot will be open and ready for you on Sunday when we begin.
I don't know all that much about tarot, other than I am fascinated by it and am learning a little more, but during my last reading I pulled The Sun card - a beautiful and welcome change.
I can so relate with this - I am fighting that obession with moving. I have been fighting it for a year. I had a glimmer of hope that I was over it this spring but then the heat returned and I yearn for forests and moss. Maybe I need to "get naked" with you and enjoy that sunshine. <3
Posted by: Shelley | 06/20/2012 at 10:10 AM
As you know from brief conversations we have had lately, I am smack dab in the middle of this. After falling down (literally!) twice, within two days, that day I finally said, "I give up". Not in the fact that I give up doing anything, but the fact that I give up FIGHTING against whatever life was handing me.
And wouldn't you know it, things started happening. Not what I was fighting for, wondering "why me??", but the good things that were happening, were coming back.
And the one thing that I thought I lost came back. And wanted to keep trying. And I could have let the hurt overpower me and said no, but I have to keep learning. I have to learn to let go of the hurt and believe in the good.
I am learning, and trying to realize that while yes, I am working on me and what I want it to be, it's not always about me. That, sometimes I need to step back, breathe, let time happen and not always jump the gun.
I am SO excited to be taking your course and I hope that whoever wins a spot will be as excited and I am.
And I am truly loving this journey of life that we are on and everything we have been through so far.
Love you. :)
Posted by: Tinachicky | 06/20/2012 at 10:28 AM
Lately, I've been feeling stuck in my photographic journey, of all things ... I've been taking pictures forever, have had a few showings of my own, even! But in April of this year, I upgraded to a fancy new DSLR and just haven't had the heart to take pictures like I once did and the pictures that I do actually end up taking, just sit on the camera. :( Your e-course sounds like the perfect thing for me, however, I wouldn't be able to participate for the full course as I'm due to birth my first babe in a very short 5 weeks. :) Best of luck to all, it sounds like such fun!
Posted by: Shannon | 06/20/2012 at 10:34 AM
I don't know if I've ever resonated with anything so deeply in my life! This story is nothing short of profound!
Depression is a big black beast that's been dogging me since I was 15! This last year I was gifted with life-coaching from a beautiful woman (a fellow Soulodge sister, actually :). I vividly remember one session, where she asked me to visualize what is was that scared me so much about life...
What I saw was a black hole of an abyss. And on the edge, I found that I had erected battlements to guard against it. What were my battlements made from? Art! Photography! Writing! It turns out that creativity had been my sweet sweet protector, friend and path out of the swords that surround me. Always & forever, art is my savior. My way of relating to the world.
I would LOVE to take this course of yours Stacy! I think you'd be pretty much the most amazing photography teacher in the world! ❤
Posted by: Sarah | 06/20/2012 at 11:49 AM
I am very curious...I feel trapped in my current job - I know I am better and more creative but the pay currently is so good. I want more for me.
Posted by: denise | 06/20/2012 at 11:51 AM
I don't currently feel trapped. But I have in the past and the free-ness and blessed-ness I am feeling these days is the "pinch-me" kind. I would love to be "archiving" this loveliness of Now.
Posted by: anna | 06/20/2012 at 02:41 PM
I'm blindfolded by grief and would relish the chance to see the now instead of the past.
Posted by: B | 06/20/2012 at 06:59 PM
Stacey, this story reminds me of a time in my life when I was feeling so resentful about so many things and I vividly remember the sense of relief I felt once I decided to let go and to stop resisting it all. In fact, I've gone through phases like this a few times in my life, but somehow I always seem to fall back into these old patterns.
I am going through a strange time right now, with a big relocation ahead of me that we didn't really want but that took on a life of its own and really, it's a positive move in many respects. But to me it also just feels like yet another diversion from the real issues: my anxieties that have kept me trapped in a lifetime of comfort eating and inertia. I want to change these old programs that I keep running over and over again; but - again - I am resisting it all big time. I so much want to get back into that sense of relief and ease and natural flow. But I know I cannot force it.
Anyway, as much as I would love to participate in your course I am not sure that the timing would work for me given that it's happening right in the middle of the big move. But I have a lovely friend who is going through a rough time and I'd love to gift it to her should I win this :) Thank you so much for all that you share and give! xo
Posted by: Kerstin | 06/20/2012 at 08:21 PM
I am reaching the place where actually KNOWING it is my fears that are holding me back. I am peeling away my layers of fear like an onion. This course sounds amazing. Aho!
Posted by: Kim | 06/21/2012 at 09:27 AM
I've been out of work for a while. I'm expected to look for a 9-5 job, but the idea of it feels binding. I am not a 9-5 type of girl, I want to dance FREE! I've been making plans to maybe start a business, but it will be a while before it's really ready. Right now my struggle is to ENJOY and EMBRACE the freedom of the in-between.. even though right now it doesn't feel very freeing!
Posted by: Sara | 06/21/2012 at 12:29 PM
as i hedged closer and closer to 40 and met it in april, i have been feeling more and more ready to take this blindfold off .... unleash and find my true calling ... get messier in my creative life, bolder .... strip down and become more transparent .... letting go of the worry what others may think.
i am ready to ROAR and get naked!!
thank you beautiful mama
oxo
k
Posted by: kolleen | 06/21/2012 at 01:53 PM
I'm familiar with this card and have drawn it many times. Trapped by the mind. In my life this is showing up in my marriage. We've been together so many years and have been drifting apart for some time now. I feel bound. Trapped. Blind to the truth, but not really. Just afraid to take off the blindfold and walk through the opening in the swords... in my mind... I would love to take this class with you Stacy. Thanks for the opportunity to win a spot! xx
Posted by: Kristina Wingeier | 06/21/2012 at 02:00 PM
oh goodness- I am feeling trapped in this skin! I struggled with lyme disease for five freaking hilarious years- cured myself with raw foods and herbs and detoxing- built a business on that personal success only to learn that I have MS. Some days it is laughable. Most days it's frustrating and I want to point out to the universe this is entirely not fair in my book. It's embarrassing to struggle with health while maintaining a holistic health company, but life is an adventure, is it not? Love the course, it sounds perfect! Aho!
Posted by: laura emily | 06/21/2012 at 03:26 PM
When I look at this card, it seems to me that she could be free if only she could cut her bondage with those swords that surround her. It is like it is her prison itself with could be her saviour but she must take a risk in order to cut her bondage within the darkness in order to allow the light. I guess for me that means jumping without looking to see where you will land. For me that is what I did a year ago when I walked away from my business, sold up and moved my family to a country I had only spent 3 days in, no jobs lined up, no friends in place. In many ways I still feel like I am in the jump, still not knowing where I might land and hoping that soon I can lift that blindfold and let the light back in (which time well with it being winter solistice here and we are now gradually moving back to the light, and the dancing).
Gxx
Posted by: Galia | 06/22/2012 at 04:02 AM
my first reaction and intuition tell me that you are an amazing teacher. I love the way you write also... the process...the idea... the desire...the courage...to get naked is powerful! I would love to do it. The women you touch will surely be changed forever.
ps: I want to be sexy!
I think that line nailed it for me. xoxo
Posted by: kate | 06/22/2012 at 08:38 AM
oh yes! The negative mental patterns. Lately I find myself struggling with worrying about how others perceive me and what they think of me. In my heart I know that these things shouldn't matter but I struggle to break away from this thought process. It is truly my own thoughts and fears that hold me back. I having a willingness to express exactly who I am and yet I am the one that stops myself. Thank you for offering this amazing giveaway. xo
Posted by: Cathy | 06/22/2012 at 09:13 AM
*gasp* how wonderful "It's where I release control and take responsibilty for what I am creating and contributing to the world." - YES! I have claimed this sumMEr as the sumMEr of ME ~ a calling forth of self-care ~ and am focusing on self-care and self-communication in order to connect with my soul and become the creative Goddess I know I am; to be a force of good in this world. Serendipitous! What an amazing opportunity to dive within! xo
Posted by: Renee Burke of Happily Ever After by Renee Burke | 06/22/2012 at 09:24 AM
I love you and the magic you sprinkle!!! you are an amazing inspiration and your journey to getting naked is such a blessed gift! I hope that you will write a book one day.... and then we can both be authoresses and sail new adventures!! xoxox
Posted by: Bracha jade | 06/22/2012 at 10:46 AM
I can so relate to this card. I feel stuck: bound and gagged by my day job being my main source of income. I don't feel like I can quit until I can earn money from my photography/art. Yet I often don't have the time after my day job to work on it. I try to work on it on the weekends but I have errands and other things to do too. So instead I do nothing and hate my life more more and more then my photography suffers etc. I would love to peel off the layers and get naked so that I can start doing little bits at a time.
Posted by: Lori Moon | 06/22/2012 at 11:02 AM
I can so relate to this! I have spent the last year 1/2 stuck...slowly moving through changes that needed to happen...some that I fought but happened anyways...and some that I am still lovingly pushing myself through. I have pulled myself back this last year...away from people and things that no longer serve me well...spending quiet time with myself and learning to listen to me and not feel guilty for who I am or what I want. I do sometimes feel like I'm in a swirly mess of thoughts wondering what exactly do I want for me...stumbling from one creative passion to another. Most days I am ok with this knowing that I am exactly where I need to be for now....but knowing that sometimes fear keeps me from my follow through. This course sounds amazing!
Posted by: nicole | 06/22/2012 at 01:15 PM
Hi there! Oh I am so 8 of swords stuck - but it only hurts because I have a crazy dream that when I compare it to where I am, I can actually feel the swords all over me - all of my fears and 'what everyone is going to say's and my rational grown-up reactions to leaping are causing me so much pain. I have recently opened the door a crack on the most enormous, massive, crazy vision for my (our) future, and now all I can think about is how much I want it and all of the reasons that it can't happen - but you're right, it's all thoughts. I would give anything to be able to change those thoughts into positive ones - to leap without being so completely frozen with fear - because I know that this dream will change lives other than just mine! It's important - who am I to stand in the way right?! Whew. Maybe naked is what I need to be :)
You have really made me think tonight - I think I'll pull out my own cards and see what they have to tell me.
Posted by: megg | 06/22/2012 at 02:05 PM
ah miss stacey... I can relate to this only too well. Stuck in a land of dark disbelief that I will find love, family and purpose in this life. You are a bright light of inspiration sweet one!
xoxo
elke
Posted by: elkemay | 06/22/2012 at 05:21 PM
I have felt bound by my own fear so long I can not remember when it started, only that it seems to get worse as the years pass on. It is not really one area of my life as this fear infuses my whole life, seeping into every corner. I'd like to be able to cut the bonds this fear has over me someday.
Posted by: Poppy | 06/22/2012 at 05:53 PM
I too would like a chance to get unstuck with your course.
I am horribly stuck, feeling trapped & isolated, unable to pull myself out of the black hole I've created for myself and just do the things I know I need to do to live a more authentic & soul filled life. I'm trapped in a marriage rut that has us slowly drifting into indifference & resentment. I'm trapped in a body that I hate and yet I can't force myself to do the simplest changes to improve my health & lose the 200lbs I need to lose. I'm stalled completely in my creative life and haven't blogged, worked on craft projects or taken a single decent photograph in months. Needless to say I need some kind of spark to reignite my passion & interest in life. Maybe your class is exactly what I need. As isolated as I. Am, I know I would benefit alot just by being a part of the community that such a class always builds. Thanks for the opportunity to possibly be a part of your class!!!
Posted by: Meegan | 06/22/2012 at 06:03 PM
I feel trapped in emotions right now. I know I need to heal and I know that I am capable, but yet fearsome of what will happen if I move forward. My younger sister died (she was 26) from drug abuse and alcohol this past March and although the police and medical examiner believe it was a drug overdose, we still do not know 100% as the autopsy results and toxicology results have yet to come back. I, myself have seven children and I know for everyones health and well being I need to break free form the emotional strain this has me held under. I need to move past this, but it's hard to muddle my way through the emotions...I go from sheer anger (why did she never accept the help I offered her or the rehab) to did I do enough? (Maybe I should have taken her in once more, or after she was raped by her drug dealer shortly before she passed away)to just being plain sad and heartbroken that my baby sister is not here and we can never grow old together and that my children and her only son will never know the true person she was. I'm not sure if a lot of this pain comes from the fact that our Father committed suicide a number of years ago...*sigh* At any rate, I really need to break free from this and be a better person inside and out. I am also in the process of shedding years of religious belief from my soul and healing from that.(that is scary and trying in and itself! wow!)
Thank you for providing an opportunity for someone to have the chance to take part in this. Much peace and love to everyone and best of luck to all these wonderful people.
~Penny xoxo
Posted by: Penny (seventhheavenmama) | 06/22/2012 at 06:26 PM